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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

090909?

the 24 hours of 090909 is finally over. and guess what?

09 SEPTEMBER 2009 WEDNESDAY

S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R = 9
W-E-D-N-E-S-D-A-Y = 9

COOL HUH?

Well the highlight of the newspaper of this auspicious day is of course Marriage.

And one of my not so close friend got proposed today. Read it off her facebook.

Many of my friends are like getting married around me and it's frightening.

Yes, frightening, for me.

WHY? I don't know.

So yea, just last night my God brother told me he is going to wed my sister in law next year. He is planning to purpose in January and the wedding will be around May or June. In a way, yippie I'm going to be brides maid. In another, I need to travel to Australia for the wedding. Where to dig money? Sigh!

BUT I'm going to find a way some how! He means lots to me. =)

So back to the topic of marriage.

Why the word marriage makes me feel all kinds of feelings that I can't put into words?

It's because I feel that I'm always stuck between two worlds and am trying hard to fit in. It's like a jigsaw puzzle where you turn and turn the piece and you realise it does not belong to the set and not with the second set either.

I'm a perfectionist when it comes down to things. I'm the type you do your best or you don't do at all that's me. And it's not a good thing.

Plus, juggling both studies and work makes me frus! Frus as in I don't even have time to breath juggling both but I feel like I'm not going anywhere. It's like something is missing and I'm not achieving something. When I'm frus, I give up.

When I give up, I give up on life itself, and when I give up I bug my boyfriend with one sentence :

Baby marry me, I don't want to study...


BLEAH! Very thick skinned right? Me proposing instead.

*jumps around*

Then he will be speechless and I get it and change topic. LOL

Being a Gemini I'm like Dell with a dual-core.

My first core is Pwencessa, the lil princess that goes ga-ga over cute stuff and pink stuff, that jumps around and does funny faces and dreams of her castle and prince charming on a white horse, carefree and contented.

My second core is Cris, the girl pretending to be a woman. Working her butt off for Anna Sui, Victoria Secret, MacbookPro and the TOP. Wanting to one day make Cris a brand. Herself as a brand. Dominating, fighting and jealous.

So you see, when there is this 2 cores, sometimes the wrong core comes out in a situation which demands the other core. And it's not the matter of switching it. Nah uh. It could take hours to change the core or bribery. And there is the time where both cores gets tangled up and comes out as one, oh the drama, it makes people's jaw drop and some wants to slap me but I go Wee.

In my post you might also notice that sometimes Pwencessa is the one writing and sometimes it's Cris.

I wonder if you could tell?

Cause I can't.

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