It's going to be all right.

I bet everyone of us hits a rough patch in life, now and then. Cuts and stabs to the heart, some minor and some major ones. The minor ones takes a long time to heal and the major ones takes an even longer time to heal or sometimes does not heal and when it does heal, often leaves a scar. Well, everyone has a scarred heart, other then a 1 day old baby, maybe.

When we are in that state of 'hurt' and 'pain' we are often driven to do things that hurt others that ends up hurting ourselves even more. Not true? Try to think back the times you got hurt, it might be a break up, study problem, a fight, a family problem, a financial problem....the list goes on...

When a person is hurt, they will dwell in that hurt. I've come across many people who live in self denial when they are hurt. Remember times you tell yourself or your friends/family members :

"I'm Ok" OR "It's going to be OK"
"I can live without that guy/girl, I'm better off single"
"F*** everyone, I'm better off alone"

Let me tell you this, IT'S NOT OK.
You are in hurt and you need somebody to talk to.
Find someone that you really know and trust and just lay your heart out, it will feel much better!
Cry and just let go of that hurt! Who says guys should not cry?!
If you can't find a friend or it's a huge secret, call a local help line, example : BEFRIENDERS 03-79568144 or 03-79568145 (Open 24 hours!)

If it is a really major hurt that feels like it has cut your heart in two, where you feel that :

you have no reason to live
you can't go on living
your problem have eaten you up so much that you just wish it all would end?

Trust me, it's not the end.

It may seam like everything is bleak and grey where no colours exist anymore.

It's NOT..

Want to know something? The sky is always blue, it's only when the dark clouds covers it where it seams all dark and grey, but beyond those dark and grey clouds, is still a very blue sky!

Life is like that! When we let hurt, rejections, failures, disappointments and stress cloud up our blue blue sky all we see are just grey skies and dark clouds we tend to forget that blue blue sky beyond those dark clouds.

Start breaking up those dark clouds, make them pour by sharing that burden with someone, shrink those dark clouds to let your blue sky peak through!

Another way is by pushing the dark clouds aside to let a bit of that blue sky beyond shine through. How? Look in to your memory of pass blue skies, how blue the sky was before it became all cloudy with those dark and grey clouds. Those dark and grey clouds that you are able to get rid off and have those blue skies once again.

Or it might be simple as starting to appreciate the things you have in life, a family, a roof over your head, the food that you get to eat, and your very own life.

My own recipe for my own blue sky is finding a patch of blue each day. For me is sunshine, my stinky pillow, a yummy bowl of curry mee or warm nasi lemak, my besties, Him, a nice cup of Green Tea Frap from Starbucks...the list goes on...

I also try to share my patch of blue sky with some one each day, a simple smile and thank you goes a long way. Smile and say thank you to the person that makes your coffee, the person that serves you food, the person that holds the lift for you, the postman......!! A smile costs nothing you know? =)

Life is like the sky, not everyday is a sunny day with blue skies, there are times where it will be dark and cloudy but after it has pass, blue sunny sky is here again once more. The choice is in your hands.

Do you want to let your sky be cloud up with those dark and grey clouds?
OR
Do you want to step up and start getting rid of those dark and grey clouds, to have your own piece of blue blue sky once more?


Think about it!

Dreams.

I just woke up from a dream about half an hour ago. When I go to sleep at night, I rather like a dreamless sleep then a one with a dream. I do not know if it happen only to me or it's the same with every one's dreams, but mine is a full length dream that feels really really real.

When I mean real, it's like a HD definition real, it feels real and it sticks in my brain even after I wake up. I even wake up to aching arms and legs as if I was there in my dream, running and being attack. My dream goes like this :

I was on a ship with a lot of people, all of us on board had one thing in common, we were fugitives. Running away from some sort of crime we committed, our ship was sailing and sailing and one by one people began to 'die'...horrible death with lots of blood and gruesome death bodies. And I was always there to see those people die.

Then, the dream unfolds, and I was in an airport, my boat landed or something and I could not board a plane, I had to take a bus. Suddenly, I had powers, powers to push things, but not like super powers, it was like I can push a bus but maybe for a few meters of so. Then suddenly I was on the run with my maid and baby.

I had a 'husband' that was a giant that was looking for me and our baby. And I was keeping the baby away from him. He almost found us we were running and running from one place to another. Then he nearly found us but we hid in an apartment where there was another woman with a kid, we asked her to keep quiet and hid in a room and close all the curtains so that my husband will not be able to peek in through the windows. The funny thing was that my husband, the giant, did not bang down any buildings, just that with his every step the earth will shake.

After that...I think I woke up or I forgot...The ending is a blur, yet, so vivid and real. And my arms and legs are aching; it was like I really ran with my baby in my arms!

I know the dream sound really lame but if you were having that dream, you will know why I'm so disturb by it.

Do dreams bring any meanings in particular?
OR
Like people use to tell me, "You are just thinking too much!"
AND
Are your dreams as vivid, real and disturbing as mine?

Best friends knows best.

In my life, up to now, I've 13 ex boyfriends.

Out of the 13, I think my besties have met like 4 or 5 of them.

Their reactions towards my boyfriend, tells me many things. Most importantly, if the guy deserves having me as his girlfriend. And I can say through experience, they are always right!

Example one, Mr.B. Mr.B was a really handsome guy and I was totally head over heels when we first started off. He had this dashing look and very Caucasian look, even when he is a pure chinese. When I first introduced him to my best friends, they agreed that he was no doubt handsome but they felt he couldn't be trusted and was not worth my time. True enough, he cheated on me and broke up with me 3 days before my birthday!

Example two, Mr.S. Mr.S was my first so called serious boyfriend. When I introduced him to my friends, I saw the reaction on their faces, and I knew he was not the one. But as many girls would say, when you are in love nothing else matters but him. I woke up from that illusion after a tug of war of him not letting me go of six months. Phew! All the signs were shown to me through my besties but I ignored them and paid the price!

But.......it's all good! I've learn my lesson and my current bf is bestie approved! =)

When I first introduced Him to my besties. They all could get along with him and laugh together. What more can I say when my besties come up to me and say things like :

"He is a damn nice guy!"
"I can see that you have found the one!"
"He is really jeng!"

And the top thing, they have a nick name for him which he knows and doesn't mind, and we laugh about it together! Internal joke!

The verdict, my besties knows what's best for me
AND
Yes, He deserves Me. *wink*
AND
Je T'aime

Is your boyfriend OR crush, bestie approved??

Think about it. =)

Life partner for a price?

Further down were a list of "cupid" companies that offer 'friendship' and 'the one'...with a special fee...*kaching*

I was reading The Star just now while having my Subway break feast with milk. Flipping through the star casually browsing interesting news with that catchy tag line. From MJ's 'milk' till tattoo fish for good luck, nothing caught much of my attention till I flip to the ads section. Browsing through the ads I spotted an ad which read :

"32 single simple caring IT exec seeks chinese carrier lady. Friendship/matrimony. "

A huge smirk spread across my face.

I have many friends that are much older then me and 'married'.

Why the open and close inverted comas?

Well, they are either in the verge of divorce or physically and mentally divorced.

And they all tell me the same thing, maybe in different words but still the same bottom line :

"DON'T GET MARRIED."

It's funny huh?

While same people out there are constantly finding for a life partner, those with life partners want to get rid of their life partners.

I remember this joke I read somewhere quite long ago, that goes something like this :

A man want his,

Daughter on the cover of Maxim

Mistress on the cover of Playboy

And wife on the cover of missing persons.

*Grin*

So what is it that while people that have partners are trying to 'get rid' of their partners while there are people that are actually spending money to find for a life partner?

Think bout it.....